Dear Words,

28 01 2019

I miss you and want you to come back to me. I need you, emboldened black against white. It is wild how much I worship you. But wilder still, how afraid of you I’ve become. For too long I’ve been stuck in my head; swishing and swirling in a mess of cloudy pontification. I do at times feel you close and sense your desire to spell out all my madness so I can own it. But the closer you get to becoming, the more I push you away. I can tell when you’re perched patiently at the tip of my tongue or tickling the tips of my fingers and then I ache for the courage to channel you onto paper, to make you come to life. To make you real, permanent.

Once upon a time, we were a team. You, constantly pushing me with all your clarity, and boldness and honesty. You did cause me pain, a lot and often. But you made me grin mischievously, when I re-read you – even laugh out loud at times. Oh, beloved words, the profundity of what we shared together, in any format, in any font.

I suppose I lost my confidence the moment I lost my authenticity. It was all downhill from there and now I am shy around you. I feel I’ve let you down.

Perhaps you are also afraid of me. Afraid of what might emerge from the page. I know you want to maintain your integrity and I want this for you too. I want to be us again, to rebuild trust between us.

How I long for you to wake me in the middle of the night the way you used to. How easy it was then, when you ravaged me out of my slumber in the middle of the night. The love we would make, drenched in ink, paper spread like a warm quilt all over my desk.  My desk. Our sacred space; how we found ourselves locked in a gaze of pure love, no matter how brief our encounter.

But that was then. Please, I need to see you again. I need to read you over and over. I need to quench my thirst with metaphor. For us to tease each other in rhyme. I feel ravenous. Come back to me.  Articulate me. Let’s start again.

Love, Niki

thoughts vs words





a wild dance among the oak

9 07 2018

i have not yet left the forest

nor the woodland nor the trust

the wild dance among the oak

a force of light with sweet kinfolk

oh how we spun

dizzy in the sun

forward and back

bodies slightly out of whack

pleading with the bramble

in new acquaintance and great counsel

i surrendered upon a bed of ferns

and now my heart forever yearns

to weave inside a dragons nest

and honour heavens in my quest

with knobbly knees and twisted limbs

embedded in some ancient hymns

i am the wood, i am the oak

i am at one with new kinfolk





How to move from fear to creativity

2 07 2018

If you think about it, what is the one profession that wakes up every day trying to move us from fear to creativity – there’s only one – and that’s artists. That is what artists do. There is not a single other profession that wakes up every day with this mandate, with this obligation. –  Steven Tepper, Dean Herberger Institute for Design and the Arts





On the possibilities of INFINITE love

19 04 2017

“I have been expressing an infinite devotion to peace loving and the refusal of war and terrorism by infinite human love” – Yayoi Kusama






an artist’s duty

21 11 2016




HOME

29 06 2016

I just returned home.

Flew into London on a Bolivian tailwind in time to witness the extraordinary turn of events that have forever changed the course of history.

For the past year, I have become increasingly preoccupied with the concept of HOME; the way in which we define our borders: our continents, our countries, our communities, our families. It’s hard not to be, given the fact that there are more displaced people living in the world today than ever before in recorded history. The most recent stats coming out of the UN suggest that the number of people forcibly displaced due to war or persecution exceeds 65 million (more that the entire population of Great Britain).

These facts behind the figures simply overwhelm and it can make it difficult to think creatively about how to truly instigate change.

To find an outlet, I do what I always do: I talk to children. For years I’ve been turning to children to help shed light on age-old philosophical questions because they seem to ask the questions we grown-ups have stopped asking ourselves. I believe children return us to Plato. The conversations took place with small groups, all under the age of ten. I gave each child pen and paper and asked them to write down the first word that came to mind after I said, “HOME”.

By and large, most wrote down the words: “family”, “mummy”, “daddy”, or “house”. But when I asked the children to continue writing anything else that came to mind, there were some wonderful surprises: “ice-cream”, “bed-time”, “breakfast”, “carrots”, “football”– lots of pets’ names were listed too.

These wise young people helped me to question what really goes into the creation of a home, particularly the non-physical components. What are the smells, tastes and sounds that provide us with a sense of home? Which memories of HOME do we treasure most, and why do they hold us so tightly? What does it mean to “feel” at home (or not feel at home), irrespective of geography? Is community participation a prerequisite for claiming a sense of home? Is it possible to find a way to truly be at home with oneself? We lose loved ones, we lose our shelter from the storm, and yet we often survive this pain by tapping into a sense of home lodged deep within our ancestral past, or to the earth or to God.

Human life itself is wholly involved in the issue of finding a home, not necessarily a structure made of sturdy permanence, a bed and a roof (as Maslow may have us believe) – but rather a constant search of an essence of home. If it is an essence we pursue, rather than a structure, maybe there is hope beyond the limits of infrastructure, ways in which we can feel at home, despite the distance from our place of origin.

In light of the recent referendum we have decided to embark on a collective journey, one that seeks to understand every facet of HOME. This project will be a series of essays launched with The Pigeonhole, a global book club that will bring together readers, writers and artists who want a shared experience around the following themes:

   (1) Roots, Ancestry & Tradition
One of the fastest growing hobbies in America today is the study of family ancestry. With the availability of DNA testing kits, and an ever-expanding number of genealogy websites, the average person can now trace family lines back hundreds of years. Why does the desire to know our ancestry exert such a strong hold on us? Perhaps it is a deep-seated need for differentiation or a desperate craving for a sense of belonging and wholeness? What can we learn from our ancestors, our roots and traditions?

   (2) Senses, Space & Orientation
It is said that one of the worst things that can happen to you is to lose your sense of smell. Why? Because among all our senses, one’s sense of smell provides our strongest orientation within the world we inhabit. As such we want to explore the power of our senses in providing us with a feeling of HOME.

   (3) Family as Home
Here we are looking to explore the complexities of HOME from the context of family life. What happens to our sense of home as a family expands, as we add members or when members leave? Family life involves an enormity of love, but also pride and judgement that can lend itself to feelings of confinement within the home. What makes us want to leave our families in our journey to find/create homes of our own? What is it about the journey away from home that sometimes leaves us homesick?

   (4) Migration
We are all migrants at some level. In this section we will challenge the concepts around identity, assimilation, citizenry, social inclusion/ exclusion. Migration isn’t just about geography; we all have friends who’ve migrated from one religion to another or have an auntie who married into another ethnic group. Each is a migration. What do these experiences help us to learn about ourselves?

   (5) Absence of Home
Shelter is one of our basic needs: it is a place that can protect us from the elements, keep us safe. According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, shelter is one of the requirements for addressing our physiological needs, along with the need for food, water air, sleep, sex. It would be interesting to investigate the human drive to create a semblance of home even under the most challenging circumstances. What makes us want to share our home, leave our home and/or escape into someone else’s? This is not only the era of refugee camps; it is also the era of coach surfing and the sharing economy.

   (6) Community & Hospitality
What does it mean to be a part of a community? What responsibility does it imply? How do we contribute to the sense of belonging to new arrivals?  Why is hospitality such a core tenet of major religions?

   (7) Borders within the Mind, Body & Spirit
There are those who claim there is a disconnect between body and mind, that the spirit is something altogether celestial. But in this age of avatars and the heightened state of self, what does it take to feel at home with oneself? How do the societal rigours affect our every day lives? What role do patriarchy and politics play in the creation of ego?

   (8) Earth as Home
There is one undeniable fact of life, and that is despite your creed, colour, gender or age, your home is on this earth. How does one become a steward of this earth? How do we scale the sensation of home to encompass the whole of the earth and its precious natural resources?

There is a large community of people out there who are as equally passionate about the issue of HOME as we are and we’d like to invite them – invite you – to be a part of our project. We are a society that lives its life through online validation. But we believe that words can change the world. Together we will bring this discussion to the fore, through serious discourse, through laughter and tears. A journey home is ultimately a journey into our humanness. And we are very thoughtful, weird and funny creatures.

For more information just take a look at the Home page. Or if you are interested in getting involved in any way then please send an email to:  anna@thepigeonhole.com





Paris Report: Resilient City of Light

7 12 2015

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. – Plato

“Resilience is the capacity of individuals, communities and systems to survive, adapt, and grow in the face of stress and shocks, and even transform when conditions require it.” – Fred Boltz (Managing Director, Rockefeller Foundation)

Beyond clicking the “like” button on articles I’ve come across on Facebook, I’ve tried to steer away from posting anything related to the current political stalemate over terrorism. This is primarily because I’ve refused to waste any positive energy on a tiny subset of humanity who, in my view, are taking up far too much air time. I refuse to let them encroach upon my territory — our territory — the territory of the good and the kind. I refuse to let them invade my mind; they will not cast a shadow of fear within the light I carry inside me or my children.

A couple of weeks ago after my daughter Philomena heard about the incident in Paris, she suggested that World War III was upon us. The Pope did too that day. Although my chest tightened at the thought that my daughter was right, I could tell in her eyes that she was not at all afraid of that notion. Given her timely history lesson at school, she seemed to have a grounded understanding that despite the loss of life, GOOD eventually triumphed over EVIL. And should it come to pass again, good will triumph over evil once more. And I am confident that it will so long as we cast aside our fear. So long as we stop building up armies of terror by bringing them into our daily conversation and so long as we stop branding every lunatic who shoots a gun or waves a knife in the name of God as a terrorist. So long as we stop creating fantasy “States” where there were none before–there is no such thing as an Islamic State, the notion must simply be removed from our vocabulary. If corporate media channels are unable to refrain from sensationalising terror, it is up to those of us active in the world of social media to act as leaders and reclaim the conversation. We must reclaim our Territory of Light over Darkness. 

This past Saturday I returned from a trip to Paris. It was as beautiful as ever for I was in the City of Light with a huge Army of Light. Thousands of environmental soldiers were present: activists, scientists, economists and artists all taking part in the 21st yearly session of the Conference of Parties to the 1992 United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change.  The conference’s overall objective is to achieve some sort of binding universal agreement on climate (from all the nations of the world), but not all of us were there to negotiate the legalities of the agreement. While politicians were busy working on their part of the equation, the Army of Light was continuing on our collective path of innovation in reverence of the Pachamama

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Photography by Studio Tomás Saraceno, © 2015

Photography by Studio Tomás Saraceno, © 2015

Aerocene manifests as a series of air-fuelled sculptures that will achieve the longest, emission-free journey around the world.  Aerocene holds a message of simplicity, creativity and cooperation for a world of tumultuous geopolitical relations,reminding us of our symbiotic relationship with the Earth and all its species.

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Shepard FaireyPhoto: Aline Deschamps

 

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PHILOSOPHY as a servant of LOVE

20 11 2015

love wins

All our philosophy is as dry as dust if it is not immediately translated into some act of living service. – Gandhi

Faced with the complexity of today’s world, philosophical reflection is above all a call to humility, to take a step back and engage in reasoned dialogue, to build together the solutions to challenges that are beyond our control. This is the best way to educate enlightened citizens, equipped to fight stupidity and prejudice. The greater the difficulties encountered the greater the need for philosophy to make sense of questions of peace and sustainable development.” – Irina Bokova (UNESCO Director-General)

TODAY we celebrate World Philosophy Day and so I’ve spent the whole of the morning devouring the material created as part of the South-South Philosophical Dialogue project designed to provide young people and their teachers with materials for questioning the world, enabling them to grow into responsible, open and participative citizens.

Excerpt from introduction: “True peace is not simply the result of political negotiations or strategic agreements between peoples and States, but the work of human beings with the training and the passion for seeking truth and doing good. True peace therefore has an anthropological basis, which is the humanised human being who is committed to truth and good as the common property of all humankind. This is precisely the fundamental importance that philosophy should have in promoting peace in the world today, as it represents the form of knowledge that quintessentially teaches human beings that the desire for truth and the desire for good come together in the desire to coexist in peace with oneself, with nature and with others.”

The texts selected for this anthology capture the spirits of philosophy in Africa, the Arab region, Asia and the Pacific and Latin America and the Caribbean in terms of cosmology, epistemology, politics, gender, ecology and aesthetics.

check out table of contents on page 12 and start exploring:  http://unesdoc.unesco.org/images/0022/002284/228411E.pdf

 





Inspiration is an awakening

11 11 2015

Inspiration is an awakening, a quickening of all man’s faculties, and it is manifested in all high artistic achievements. – Puccini

Opera Squad is ENO’s flagship programme in which musicians and singers take over whole schools in a one-day programme of pop up performance and workshops, introducing young people from a wide range of backgrounds to opera. They tailor visits to the needs and interests of each host school.

For any enquiries about Opera Squad, please get in touch with ENO Baylis, baylis@eno.org





Simplicity is the most complex form – C.T.

19 10 2015

Your mind is a powerful asset; use it for positive thoughts and you’ll learn what I’ve learned: I call it, ‘getting-on-the-plateau-of-positivity.’

(and) If at first you don’t succeed, keep on sucking till you suck-a-seed.

– Clark Terry





Mind vs Body: beauty not perfection

1 07 2015

Walk No.30 – Still striving to adopt a growth mindset

All I need is to adopt a growth mindset I tell myself.

I’ve completed 30 walks since I first started preparing for my big hike across Scotland–my hike toward BIG CHANGE. Over the last 6 weeks I’ve walked around 300km of London streets in my boots.

While I’m slightly more confident about hiking the first 70km over 2 days, the thought of having to push my aching body up 1,344 metres on the 3rd day to the top of Ben Nevis makes me physically ill with anxiety.

For comfort I try to remember back to my days as a dancer when my feet looked something like this:

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Physical states influence mental states. Mental states influence physical states. Not sure why philosophers continue to argue over which statement is true. They are both so very true.

When i train, my mind and body are continuously in dialogue. The dialogue first begins over the issue of boredom: My mind feels it is wasting time–if only I could be putting my mind towards something more productive than walking.

Then I begin to feel pain in my thighs, in my lower back, in the sore soles of my feet. I try to distract my mind away from thinking about my body by solving equations in my head. This only lasts so long before my focus returns to my body. I become conscious of my wobbly knees and the cramp in my side.

Why was I able to endure the pain of dancing on bruised toes and sprained ankles all those years ago? Why is this walking business so hard?

I continue to walk and wonder a bit more and walk and wonder a bit  more. Today there are no podcasts or music playlists to listen to. It’s just me, my body and my mind.

Once more I feel the weight of my body slowing down my stride and my mind begins playing tricks on me. First my mind calmly tells my body that it’s okay to stop for a rest. But when my body doesn’t listen to my mind, my mind gets angry and tells my body that training is futile, that i will never make it across the highlands, that it will all just end in heap of embarrassment–why try if you know you will fail?! my mind shouts at me in desperation.

The fragments of my self argue all the way home.

What am I striving for? What will success mean? What is the goal? Am I striving for myself or for others? Am I striving for some ideal of perfection? What will it mean if I succeed? What will it mean if I fail? With only a week to go, I am committed to the idea that I do not know for certain the answer to these questions–that the journey itself will help answer these questions.

For now all I know for certain is that I am striving for big change in whatever form that takes. That I am striving for a metamorphosis.

When I danced I danced for the love of dance. On the one hand, the gesture of raising my leg high above my head was an intended action, consciously willed and controlled; my mind was aware of the complex kinaesthetic sensations of each of my actions. On the other hand, I was equally unconscious when I danced, almost possessed by the vibrations of sound channeling through my body.

The point is that when I danced, my mind was not separate from my body. When I danced I was not fragmented. My parts were all extensions of each other. The phenomenal experience was an experience of wholeness. My mind and my body were joined through my spirit–through my love of dance.

I have 8 more days to work on integrating my mind with my body. I am searching for that sense of wholeness. Doing my best to remove my bias view of the hike as a purely physical feat–as an ambition of the body.

I need to see this hike as art.  As a collective work of art. A collective ambition to manifest beauty–not perfection.

Beauty of shared will and collective consciousness built upon a determination to unearth what Big Change means to us as individuals and for society.

A determination to pool communal resources of mind, body and sprit in order to unlock as much creative thought as possible over three intense and emotional days.

Yes, this is what it’s all about. I’m already starting to feel better about it all.

60 artists will walk together across the highlands in search of wholeness. 60 disruptors. 60 big-changers.

Some will be more fit than others but this is irrelevant. in fact, this is what make’s it an artistic endeavour.

So I will strive for this. For art and for wholeness in the highlands.

——

I would of course be extremely grateful for any financial resources to support the work we are doing at Big Change. Funds raised through the STRIVE Challenge 2015 will be used to support amazing organisations and initiatives that have the potential to shape the future of young people across the UK. Big Change has a fundamental belief in the UK’s young people. They’re our priority, our passion, and our inspiration. And everything we do is designed to help them be the very best version of themselves. Helping them rise above and beyond their circumstances, and giving them the opportunity, motivation and courage to see the positive differences they can make for themselves, for others, and for their community. Whether it be helping young people learn about teamwork, communication, relationships, or giving them an opportunity to improve their emotional wellbeing and physical health, the money raised will support projects that focus on helping young people develop a growth mindset and strive in their own lives.

YOU CAN DONATE BY CLICKING BELOW:

http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-web/fundraiser/showFundraiserProfilePage.action?userUrl=NikiBB





Metamorphosis: for the love of the caterpillar

29 06 2015




On route to BIG Change

9 06 2015

 I’m raising money for Big Change Charitable Trust. Would love any support you can offer. h





Connecting with our environment through gratitude

18 05 2015

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Art work made by Bella (age 8) in an activity organised by artist and physicist, Geraldine Cox, at St James Junior School (London) as part of our school-wide celebration of the Universe Story.

Here is a link to a recent TED talk & blog post by Geraldinehttps://youtu.be/xkk3CPPFAnY

http://www.findingpatterns.info/journal/2015/4/13/14-billion-five-and-a-half.html





Into the Wild (a dedication to our mothers)

10 05 2015

from Olivia & Niki to our mothers. thank you for planting seeds of love and instilling in us those values that hold us steady along our incredible journey into the wild (- and back).

The creative process is not like a situation where you get struck by a single lightning bolt. You have ongoing discoveries, and there’s ongoing creative revelations. Yes, it’s really helpful to be marching toward a specific destination, but, along the way, you must allow yourself room for your ideas to blossom, take root, and grow. – Carlton Cuse

into wild poster

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http://musicpleer.com/#47222cfe285819b105548cc30b28b236

An American Scholar by Ralph Waldo Emerson





ONLY together with the help of SMALL VOICES

10 04 2015

 

Small Voices Louder is a platform for children’s voices: the innocent, humorous, insightful, honest, confused and critical. It occurs in two parts, an empowering and thought-provoking experience for children, and an insightful and revealing sound experience for adults.

learn more here: http://maybetogether.com.au/small-voices-louder/

and read artist, Alex Desebrock’s beautiful manifesto here:

http://maybetogether.com.au/manifesto/

if you want to be a part of this project go here:  https://australianculturalfund.org.au/projects/small-voices-louder/





FREEDOM through dance

30 03 2015

“Dance can be anything–waving goodbye or raising your fist in the air.” – Freida Selena Pinto

 





LOVE in Portland

17 02 2015

“Society must be organised in such a way that a man’s social, loving nature is not separated from his social existence, but becomes one with it… To have faith in the possibility of love as a social and not only individual phenomenon, is a rational faith based on the insight into the very nature of man. ” Erich Fromm

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http://www.themoonshinemusic.com
http://foghornstringband.com
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for the LOVE of TOLLER: abre las ventanas al amor

30 01 2015

“what you see around you is your education. of course i know this because i was like them [children] once. they might not say much when they are little but they are taking in the world around them all the time. and it all comes back. it’s discussed. children always remember.” – Toller Cranston 

dearest Toller – every time we think of you, we will think in the brightest of colours. how we will miss seeing you so very much in SMA when we visit our Omi. what will we most remember? the things you said to us, your words of wisdom, the angels surrounding your pool, your ice-cream feasts, your funny face, the eggs we painted with you, your crazy cowboy belt and very very pointy boots. thank you for being our friend and for sharing your magical paradise with us. we will never forget. promise. love you and hope you are painting even more wildly in the heavens above; we will look up from time to time and see you swirling. –  love, philomena & luna 

 

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Abre las ventanas al amor
Deja penetrar su claridad
Dile no al pasado y su dolor
Sin negar todo lo bueno que te dio.
Piensa en la alegría de vivir
De tener de nuevo una ilusión
Siempre hay esperanza si el amor te alcanza
Deja penetrar su luz
Abre las ventanas al amor
Sueña sin temor al que dirán
Que quien dices sueño, sueños son
Se equivoca cuando se hacen realidad
Tienes que volver a sonreír
Darle rienda suelta a la emoción
Todo es mas bonito todo es infinito
Al amar todo es mejor
Abre las ventanas al amor
Busca ser feliz una vez más
Pídele a la vida otro color
Que la vida si lo quieres te lo da
Di de nuevo si sin titubear
Haz lo que te manda el corazón
Abre las ventanas al amor
No es para mañana lo que puedes hacer hoy
Abre las ventanas al amor
Busca ser feliz una vez más
Pídele a la vida otro color
Que la vida si lo quieres te lo da.

– Roberto Carlos

http://bcove.me/jxe1491n

 

 

 





CREATIVITY: emerges from what you make with what little you have

22 01 2015

– Mummy, can i please play on the Ipad?

– NO!

“It is such a myth that poor children are deprived of stimulation and are in need toys and technology to enhance their education. It is often the poor child who is able to create a world of his own with broomsticks and other random household objects. Creativity emerges from what you make with what little you have.”

– Tanya Chapuisat

 

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